The air is still. I am here, but I am not. Where am I? My soul asks me time and again. I have everything but something is missing… a void that is engulfing me.
There is a swarm of people around me, but I am lost. The music of my life is still playing, but I do not dance anymore. I could no more feel the soft wind caressing me… the glittering rays of the mighty sun wrapping me in their arms… the dew drops of the winter morning on my cheeks. What is wrong, I don’t know?
Yes, my heart died painfully. A heart which loved once… laughed once… and importantly, lived once. Imagine first the joy of having a lover and then to trample over your beloved’s feelings killing him/her inch by inch… the feeling of knowing that someone is completely at your disposal and enjoying the attention. What a morbid act some might say, but to some it is indeed an adventure.
I am talking about you. Yes you. You did everything what you could but to your beloved’s vanity, nothing ma
de him/her happy.
One moment he/she used to smile at you and the other moment throw tantrums. Your inability to fulfil your beloved’s wishes was mocked at everyday. It was time…yes you started realising that it was time for the murder of your heart. And the day came.
A sweet smile with a bid adieu gesture was all that you were handed.
You walked away from there silently holding your composure, telling yourself each minute not to break down and trying to reach a corner as soon as possible to let loose… to break free and pour out all your emotions.
On your way back, your mind wandered thinking about all those good memories that you shared…time and again questioning yourself rudely and blaming yourself for your misfortune. What went wrong? Why me? But no answer…not a single answer!
Never thought of this aspect of love, did you? The pain is persistent in the shadows no matter how much you try to forget your loss. Your mind keeps wandering when his/her sweet memories knock at your love-gate. But, you are unable to run away from it and the irony is that you don’t even want to admit your loss as you have to show a brave face to the world – a successful, smiling, painless face.
But my dear reader, do not cry over what you have gone through. Believe me, you are blessed with much more strength to sail through this difficult time of your life. Don’t put your key to happiness in someone else’s pocket.
You love, because your love is not dependent on the person you love, but, rather on your state of being. So, even if your beloved turns indifferent to you, it does not matter, because your love was never dependent on the other person.
I feel there is a deeper love beneath the feeling of love, which is eternal and ageless. It emanates from the core of your being and is present in all moments be it silence and stillness or a busy life.
For you, I could only croon the famous Beatles song, “Love is old, Love is new, Love is all, Love is you.”
So, go ahead and let yourself experience this wonderful feeling eternally and let love take its course…
