Given that I hit quarter life mark a few weeks ago, am deeper into mid-twenty crisis now. Or so everyone makes me believe!
I am buried to my neck and I can barely breathe and there is so much going on around right now. I don't understand how to deal.
There are girls my age and younger getting married...in family and friend circles. It has been a record, I haven’t gone past any 2 weeks all this year when I didn’t get a good news of some sort. News of a hitch or news of cycle skipping glitch. (what’s this)
Ha ha! Yes, you get me right...everyone I know seems to be getting married or pregnant. And me...I'm just having a good time looking at them make babies or surrender their freedom. Or, so you may say my state of denial is.
Well, I don't know if I am in denial or I am actually not, because to a very large extent...I am consciously here where I am. So how can this be denial, confused me wonders?
I am confused because I
have started referring to my self-decided state as denial, since friends and family relentlessly impose...what's right!
What's right?
Well what's right according to them is getting married right now. If not literally on the
mandap walking circles behind my husband, then at least hunting for him should be on right now. That too a focused one - The groom-hunt as referred. And according to some I should have already been married by now and on my way to making babies.
If I pause and think...the problem is, I am here by choice. A very conscious choice I can own up to it, because all this while I have been telling my parents I don't want to get married right now. And now when I am here by my choice why am I not enjoying, instead?
If I try to figure out….
This is because of the constant litany of you-should-get-married-now...and then pros and cons of not doing it right now...keep on playing like Kenny-G’s instrumentals in the backdrop of my world…and this litany or rather this lecture is delivered to me by my well-wishing friends, family and some absolute random people quite often.
Ergo, mid twenties crisis is a phenomenon self-created. I am here by my choice so I am not going to let myself get these bouts of worry and waste my time thinking if I am right or not?
People are getting married because probably they are done with doing good things or maybe they are too dumb to do other exciting things in life.
The point is, you got to live it up, live for yourself and spread your wings wide and out. Taste every bit of life. Do things differently, explore and roar.
And since I have already chosen to first satisfy myself, in terms of my career, my interests like: travelling, music festivals, girl night outs, lone time reading, lots of partying and free willed living...then I might as well do all of this and not brood over what I don't want right now anyway.
In the end I need to be happy, and I am the kind of revolutionary who always does what she likes. I can't be happy if I choose to do what everyone’s doing, even though it might be right according to majority.
In fact I think mid-20s crisis would come to me if I am all of 25 tied in a marriage with a baby joining me and my other half in a few months. When my freedom is sabotaged by relationships, in-laws and responsibilities that could be termed as mid-20s crisis, not this - where I am. So unlike most of my friends who are confused and calling a freedom full singleton life a denial and suffering of mid-20 crisis, I choose to call these my golden years because I know for a fact, there is not much left before age, stage and responsibilities take over me. And no matter how tricky and twisted these years are, these are the only few years in my life I can have just with myself, doing every darn thing I want to do.
Instead, I choose to call these mid twenty crisis years the most amazingly full of freedom phase of my life.
And I am going to live it up big style, and so should every girl my age! Because I believe your thought process can change the way you live your life.
